Why Does Intuitive Eating Feel Like a Diet?
So you’ve decided to try intuitive eating. Congratulations! Intuitive eating is a non-diet framework that allows you to heal your relationship with food and your body. But what if it doesn’t feel that way? If you’ve started intuitive eating and it still feels like dieting, you’re not doing it wrong. However, you might be thinking about it wrong! There are many reasons why intuitive eating feels like a diet and we’ll get to the bottom of some of the most common.
the intuitive eating principles are used as rules
Yes, intuitive eating has 10 principles, but they are meant to be just that; principles. Not rules. When you’re used to dieting, you’re used to having someone tell you exactly what to do and what will happen as a result. Unfortunately (or maybe even fortunately?), intuitive eating is not that way. If you use the principles as guideposts to help you tune into your own innate knowing, you will find that they are helpful touchstones. If you use them as rules that cannot be amended or individualized to your needs, you will find them extremely frustrating and confusing! It’s also important to consider how the principles are used holistically, instead of taking one and trying to apply it out of context. A perfect example of that is accidentally adopting the hunger/fullness diet, because you’re taking the “honor your hunger” and “honor your fullness” principles out of context.
you’re adopting the hunger/fullness diet
Accidentally adopting the hunger/fullness diet is the most obvious reason why intuitive eating still feels like a diet. A misleading definition of intuitive eating is “eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full.” Yes, “honor your hunger” and “honor your fullness” are two principles of intuitive eating, but that’s not all it is. The hunger/fullness diet is falsely believing you should only eat when you’re hungry, and always stop when you’re full. That’s not intuitive eating, that’s the hunger/fullness diet. The hunger/fullness diet does not take into consideration giving yourself unconditional permission to eat, which is part of the “make peace with food” principle of intuitive eating. Giving yourself unconditional permission to eat honors the fact that we eat for so much more than to satisfy physical hunger (we eat for connection, pleasure, culture, etc.) and that there are many reasons why one might eat past fullness. If you feel there are any absolutes, have-to’s, or “shoulds” on your intuitive eating journey, investigate that. There’s no one way to be an intuitive eater. There’s no perfect way to be an intuitive eater.
you think you have to do intuitive eating perfectly
Here’s a fun fact: you cannot fail at intuitive eating. There’s also no one way to do it “right.” If that’s frustrating to you, that’s okay! If you’ve been dieting for a long time, you’re used to knowing whether or not you’re “on track” or “off track.” With intuitive eating, there is no track! That takes some time to get used to. When you strive to be the perfect intuitive eater, that can often lead to overthinking. You’ll find that you’ve replaced obsessing over calories and ingredients to obsessing over whether or not you’re following a craving “correctly” or if intuitive eating says you have to eat even if dinner is in 30 minutes (the answer is you don’t have to do anything). Intuitive eating is one big get-to-know-your-body experiment. You will “mess up.” You will forget to pack a snack and wait too long to eat. You will eat way past fullness. You will eat one-too-many cookies and wish you had made a different choice. None of that is wrong, all of that is human.
you’re hoping to lose weight with intuitive eating
For starters, there’s nothing wrong with having the desire to lose weight with intuitive eating, or to lose weight at all. We live in a world that is filled with diet culture and pressure to lose weight. The fallacy that you’d be healthier if you were smaller is everywhere. You’ve likely been told that if you lose weight you’ll feel better about yourself. It makes sense why you’d want to lose weight being surrounded by messages like those! However, hoping that intuitive eating will help you eat less and lose weight is going to backfire. You will not be able to adopt the intuitive eating principles in a way that truly allows you to honor your body. The truth is, we all have a set point weight that our bodies will protect at all costs. We can’t know what this weight is without practicing unrestricted eating. At the end of the day, your body will always win. It’s why you don’t feel like you can “control” your eating anymore. It’s why diets don’t feel like they “work” anymore, or why you don’t feel like you can keep them up. It’s not because you don’t have willpower, it’s because your body is fighting back and saying “no more.” So while the desire for weight loss is understandable, getting curious about exploring your body as it is meant to be is key to making peace with food and your body.
food rules are still in place
This one is probably the most self-explanatory. A lot of people go into intuitive eating with a lot of misconceptions about food and health. It’s also common to have some food fears based on what you’ve learned from past diets, the media, and likely people in your life. Committing to the process of intuitive eating is one of the hardest parts. Letting go of all the b.s you’ve learned about food and putting complete trust in your body to do what it does best (keep you alive and well) is difficult, but incredibly important. This requires you to throw out all food rules you’ve ever had in place (unless you are genuinely allergic to that food or have other necessary limitations). If you can do that, you are well on your way to food freedom!
looking for support?
I offer 1:1 and group intuitive eating coaching to help you find your unique path to food freedom.